Sunday, November 15, 2009


ok done.

huh? what?! *stares at checklist in disbelief*

i'm really done?

*double checks, triple checks...and checks again*





*continues like a mad person*

I'm sorry I totally abandoned you lately,
yet you stay so loyally by my side without a sound,
in the silence you watched over me,
yet in my state of mind i felt you were mocking me;
i'm sorry.
for the days that i have ignored you,
now i will make it up by your side this night.




or so i would like to say to my dear, dear bed.

however for some stupid reason there was a power shortage at my house while i was still finishing up this bloody report.

so i cant go sleep in my bed even if i wanted to.

Luckily the autosave rescued my document. well, part of it anyway.

and of ALL houses it has to hit MY house. my neighbors all have power. Damn.

so i took refuge in my friend's house.

another reason why i can't say the above verse to my bed is because...

its morning.

ah whatever. felt like posting status message on fb saying that i'm done but decided to blog instead.

to prove how free i finally am now.


forgive me. i have not eaten or drank in the past 26 hours and have not slept for twice as long.

so its just very normal to have screws loose in the brain.

felt like killing people the moment my comp died too (no battery attached). ah well its over.

and oh, people with freedom?

i dont hate you peeps anymore!


think i'll post something on fb anyway. ^^

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Freedom? What FREEDOM?!!

damn. everywhere i go i see people posting up stuff about THEIR merdeka day.

my last paper ended yesterday morning. earlier than some of you people! HAH!

but still not free. the chains of responsibility is tying me down till 15th of nov: a report i'm frantically trying to catch up on after abandoning it for ... what, a month? two??

anyway. that's all. shouldn't even be here. should, no MUST catch up on the goddamn report. no sleep tonight either.

you guys who got freedom,

i hate you.

at least til i pass up my report and my own freedom comes to me.

then i'll like you all again.


Monday, November 09, 2009

A Tale of the ... I dunno what to call it anymore.

One day A woke up and found B suddenly standing outside the door.

B: Can you take me to X (A place quite far away)?
A: Why?
B: (pitiful face and red eyes) I need to buy something for someone back home.
A: What do you need to buy that is so urgent and important?
B: I'll pay you back the fare.
A: Must we go today?
B: Yes, since you're busy later.

A thinks: Okay la, since it's so important.

In car:
A: What is so important you have to buy today?
B: E (common thing that can be found EVERYWHERE)

A thinks: WTF?! B's hometown also have this thing what?! Why need to buy here??!!

but said nothing.

~ the end~

aiy the impact doesn't sound so good after editing...

Saturday, November 07, 2009

I suddenly realised...

...i've never visited any of my previous schools ever since i left them.

sure, the main reason is that both of them are in a different area, different state, even, from my house.

i've never stayed in a house the same area as the school i'm going to, so needless to say my schoolmates were never my neighbors.

i've never even been to a classmate's house until f5. haha, sad, aint it. it's always somewhere outside so that we can meet up at a "titik persilangan" so that both of us don't have to travel so far. (student ma, no driving license)

maybe this atributes to why i'm awkward about going into ppl's houses? i never know what to do then. especially houses of people i know. (if dunno the people living in a house you're visiting e.g. father's business client just smile and look interested while pretending to be busy with something e.g. phone. XD)

was going through the photos posted on the group site of my primary and secondary school. dang my primary school has changed, a LOT. the field i used to be crazy in is still there tho. but the places i spent the most of my time in are... gone. in their place are freakishly new buildings that, i guess, are the pride and joy of everyone there, especially the new students.

but to me, 南强 isn't real anymore.

I used to love its antiquity, the peaceful countryside scene in the middle of the busy car-ridden concrete forest, like some sort of timeless piece undisturbed in the modern era.

of course i knew that it would change after i left. they always do. already they were in the final stages of collecting donations for a new school hall.

I did return a few years back with my mom, as she needed to find a colleague.

It changed.

far more than i expected it to.

to me, now it has lost its sense of uniqueness and blended in with the modern world. it is now the same as any other school.

南强 had few tables, and the some of the stone stools used to have cracks in them but i never said anything. if anything i thought the cracks were marks or the school's history and shouldn't be touched.

I hated a school i went to. so much that i made a fuss about everything. the teachers, the students, the rules, the facilities, EVERYTHING.

i must have been an idiot and a nuisance to my classmates, many of whom, no doubt loved their mother school as much as i loved mine.

i regret my behaviour. had i stopped being so selfish, i might have noticed good points about that school. but honestly i still resent being sent there.

It's true then, when you love something even its flaws are perfect. If you hate something even its perfection is flawed.

Anyway, the cracked stools, they're gone now. replaced by new ones.

one by one my memories of that place is disappearing. soon, it would be a totally new existence that i don't have anything in common with.

would Assunta be like that after another 10 years? remodelled into a face i do not know? Assuntarians of ten years ago has surely felt what i'm feeling now as Assunta of ten years ago is also very different from the Assunta it is now.

Will you do that to me too, Assunta? will you change again so much that my memories held by you are destroyed? Will I be the only one who will remember what happened?

I'm not opposed to change. change makes us grow, for better or worse, but it makes us grow nontheless.

However i will never say i like it. Adapting to change is difficult, especially if its a bad one. Change destroys everything you have and forces you to start anew.

Change, makes reality a memory.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Randomness of the Day~

i'm supposed to be studying icthyology.

i'm supposed to be rushing a report.

i'm supposed to be more serious in attempting to do the two things stated above.

i'm NOT supposed to be doing anything else that distracts me (like blogging)


quitting is such an easy path. now i see why many do so...

Sunday, November 01, 2009

In the exam hall... (ep. 2)

... there were a total of 6 different papers for different courses.

among them was English for Special Purposes (required subject for those who scored below band 1-2 in MUET). i was taking another totally unrelated exam subject.

point is, there where students from China taking the paper so obviously they do not know bahasa melayu.

so the chief examiner tried his very best to translate the "opening exam speech" in english as per bm as it was supposed to be.

it went ok until the fourth and last part where it was about students needing to obey the university act for not cheating in exams.

the chief examiner went along something like this:

"since the act is not written in english, if the chinese (refering to students from China) do not understand, just raise your hands and we will get someone to explain in malay."



hello? if they understood malay they do not need you guys to explain right?

*at the end of the exam*

in his pitiful attempt to translate the "ending exam speech" he (or someone) actually translated the normal bm version word by word and was reading from the translation.

"students are required to stay put until hall monitors come and collect their papers. they are..."

Hall monitor: A student volunteer in schools who is charged with maintaining order in the school's corridors.

hello la. translate directly also do it with class abit can or not?

examiner, uncle. examiner.

this is damn random. i know.