Warning: Look. I’m whining here. Don’t take it personally.
Depressed. It’s my off day. So I shouldn’t be. But I’m depressed BECAUSE it’s my off day.
BECAUSE I’ve time on my hands.
BECAUSE I should be trying to find information on what I want to do.
BECAUSE I don’t know what to do.
BECAUSE I don’t know what I’m doing.
Great. I wrote “because” so many times now it looks like it has the wrong spelling.
If I’m working I would give myself the excuse that I don’t have time to search for these kinds of stuff. But know that I’m home with the whole day (half the day has passed) on my hands and the reality is that I have no idea what to do or search for is coming down on me hard.
That is why I get terrible headaches on my off days.
Crap. I supposed to relax on off days. Not getting headaches and feeling more stressed than when I’, working.
Then to curb this headache I indulge in brainless mind washing to numb the pain.
Then when it’s over, so is the day.
Then I go back to work the next day and tell myself: “I must find something more conclusive to do with my life on my NEXT off day.”
And the cycle begins again.