The people you keep

There are people I push away.

There are people I tolerate.

There are people I try to ignore.

Then there are the people I keep by my side.

Threre's that one person I pray would stay.

Home

Most times I wonder, what does it feel like to go home?

To be home?

The house i stay in doesn't feel that way. 

I don't know how it should feel but it shouldn't feel like how I feel staying where I do now.

I imagine it would feel like how it felt in the place I take refuge in.

But I'm not there often enough.

That is also where i get intoxicated with my addiction.

But reality slams back into action the moment I leave those doors.

I wish I might,  I wish I may. ..

Watching you

I wish I did not have to sleep so that I could stare at you all through the night till dawn.

Your peacefulness in the night resonates with my moods and brings me to a place of peace.

You are my safe place.

The walls I hide behind

I communicate with others from my fortress behind bars through heavily guarded windows.

I talk to you face to face with you by my side.

Sometimes I wonder if you scaled to walls to see me, or did you find the key I threw away?

Or was I the one who was so deeply charmed by you and let you in myself?

Missing you

You have no idea how much i wish i was by your side and you mine at this moment. At any moment. Every moment.

Drug

You have no idea how many times you have saved me since my drug is not working. You are my new addiction.