Lost

What am I doing with my life?

No. Seriously.  What the heck AM I doing?

Are my priorities straight?

Because honestly,  I don't know anymore.

I feel like every decision I make is wrong.

But I can't know which is the right decision when I have no direction.

What's worse, I have lost the light that had illuminated what little I can see in this dark path I'm struggling on.

The will to live

When someone loses the will to live, is he depressed? Or is he just too lazy to carry on with life?

The law of human nature is denial. Like the real insane people will never admit they are crazy or that those who are drunk will not acknowledge they are drunk, the people who are really depressed will think that they are too lazy to carry on and deny that they are depressed. Same goes to the lazy ones who will use depression as an excuse to not live life.

But why do we carry on with life? I find it pointless.

I have lost the will to do so. I find it totally pointless to continue life as it is.

Why do I carry on with life?

I guess I’m a coward.

I do not dare to end my life.

Now I see the appeal of dying by drug overdose.

I should try that sometime.

"For God's sake, bring me some of the old!" ~Dr H. Jekyll, Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde

I remembered about the drug I used years ago while in my schooling years and how long I have not used it.

So I did.

And apparently it had lost none of its potency, or maybe I have grown unaccustomed to it over the years.

This drug has managed to bring my Hyde back to the surface while the substitute I have been taking struggles to even form Jekyll properly.

For the first time in a long, long while; I can feel myself changing back to who I used to be.

Which is not necessarily a good thing personality wise.

But it is easier going through life when feeling nothing.

Is Hyde here to stay?